It feels a bit strange to still be so sad about Michael Jackson's death. I never knew him personally and the people around me all seem to be getting on just fine. So why am I still sad?

Ignoring your emotions is a recipe for disaster, so I've had to pay them some attention this weekend to try and understand what's going on inside me.

So, why am I mourning Michael Jackson?

First of all, my spiritual belief is that we are all God. That is to say that there is no God that exists outside of us because there is no "out there" or "in here". We are all just one massive creative energy, exploding outwardly and then coming together again, over and over again.

So that means that MJ is God. Much like my thumb is Norio. So is my pinky. It doesn't mean that my thumb governs my body but it is as MUCH a part of me as any other part.

Having said that, each one of his songs that struck a chord with me did so because it was God talking to me. Much like God talks to me through the movie I'm watching on TV, the book I'm reading on the loo & my wife bitching at me for not doing something I said I would do.

It's both profound and simple all at the same time. How can I *not* be God, how can MJ *not* be God if I believe that we are all God.

It's like ignoring a painful sensation in your thumb. That painful sensation is there to let you know that you hurt yourself and need to take care before you get an infection. An infection that, depending on the circumstances, could kill you.

So now you hopefully understand my belief.

Back to MJ. "Man in the Mirror", "Heal the World", "The Earth Song" are all messages from a part of God for us to wake up and smell the roses. Take care of yourself, take care of your earth and, as Ghandi would say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

* (See foot notes for my thoughts on his other songs)

So the first reason is that I feel a certain sense of loss that the messenger has died. The message, for me, was "Love and care for one another and the planet you're living on."

And the second reason I feel such a great loss is: because we are all one, Michael Jackson really was (is) my friend. When I was crying, as a child, in my bedroom and not understanding the world (or my parents, or the death of my dog or the death of my grandfather...), the comforting words and voice coming out of my tape player were coming from a friend, far away.

His energy, while he was alive, swept across most (if not all) of the earth. He was trying hard to help people around him even though - or maybe BECAUSE - his own life wasn't perfect.

That energy connected with me and many of my friends. And closure will come to me from realising that the energy is still with us. It's no longer focused in a single, physical place but it's there.

Most of my spiritual beliefs (about 95%) come from the book series "Conversations with God". I don't claim them to be "the way" but they are "my way". Reading those books awakened a truth inside me that made them feel right when other spiritual beliefs didn't. That's my only reason for believing what I do - it feels right. Well, that and it gives me closure :)

So, with that, I'll try and remember that MJ is still around. Still a part of us. He's done his bit in the world and now he has changed form. Diluted but still there.

* The other songs? Well that fits into my belief that we are here to experience ourselves/ourself as the all that is. The only way to do that is by forgetting what we are and experiencing it afresh. So God is (and we are) the love, the hate, the sex, the abstinence, the cheating, the faithfulness, etc.

And the biggest gift we can give ourselves is unconditional love for ourselves, the people around us and the world in which we live. It's not easy but it IS blessed and you feel it, each time you get it right :)